RIP MySpace

Here lies MySpace, may she rest in peace.

MySpace is survived by her parents, Email and Peer to Peer Networking and her younger siblings, LinkedIn and Twitter. She will always be remembered for her pioneering work in the field of social networking and for single-handedly putting Classmates.com out of business.

In her early life, MySpace was famous for putting long-lost friends in touch with each other and for making bands who could not afford websites famous. Unfortunately, she was plagued by SPAM, bad CSS compliance, annoying teenage drama, and abused by stalkers and perverts from around the world. Eventually, she would succumb to these ailments until her slow death at the hands of Facebook recently.

MySpace will always have a soft spot in our hearts and we have her to thank for bringing old people and soccer moms to the world of daily internet usage. Please take a few moments to remember her. When you are finished, log in to your MySpace account one last time — if you have it still — and then delete it.

Amen.